Another Halloween about to arrive. Time for haunted houses and parties attempting to scare you.
I have discovered how full of fear I have been these past years, and how so many things set me off with panic attacks and the inability to move pass the fear. However, that has pretty much changed with the support of many people, books, study and introspection. I have arrived in life where I continually learn how to recognize fear and deal with the issues…including spiders, of which I used to have a real issue with the critters. I remember an event that took place many years ago.
JAKE THE SPIDER (Life 101 archives)
Remember the classic John Wayne movie, "Big Jake?" Big is the optimal word here for the sake of this story. Naming this particular spider Big Jake is an understatement. Jake had a body & legs that could easy cover a quarter and then some. We met one night as I turned the bedside lamp off and saw something on the wall. Turning the lamp back on and now armed with a broom, I slapped at a large black spot on the wall. Did it fall and was it a spider? It did not register without my glasses.
Since a spider was high on the list, the next day, walls and ceilings were checked, bedding shaken. However, it did haunt me after never finding any proof.
The threat was ever present that something would crawl on my body at night. A recent read statistic came to mind that humans during sleep, swallow so many spiders during the course of the year…YUCK! I didn't need a Halloween party with that statistic to scare the baa-gee-bees outta me.
After all the hunting, shaking, and lifting of bed-skirts with no luck a hot bath beckoned. Perhaps, a hot soak would calm nerves and give rest to fear. During my soak, many thoughts came and went. The possibility of something looming nearby was not one of them.
After 20 minutes or so, it was time to come back to reality. Stepping from the tub, it became apparent very fast there was something big and black at my feet. Putting glasses on this time, confirmation arrived mentally that indeed “it” was back!
With reality television at its peak, the next scene would score high ratings for the Fear Factor program. Picture a semi-wet, naked woman running back and forth through her trailer screaming at the top of her lungs. Shaking her hands accompanied the screaming, as well as yelling, "Get out! Get out!" Fear had consumed me so much, that I didn’t notice the trailer window shades were wide open!
A companion shot would be that of the naked woman's trusty 120 pound-guardian dog startled, on alert, looking at her and then into the bathroom with a confused look of: “What’s going on…let me at em!"
What took place after somewhat calm returned is how I pummeling to death one poor defenseless spider. This violent act goes against my Buddhist nature.
Afterward, I rationalize about those warnings issued from me for all creepy spiders: "You come into my space…you die!" Obviously Jake was a rebel and on the cutting edge. Now, he or she is on the compost edge.
Whatever creeps you out bringing fear to your Halloween celebration, have fun ...I’ll pass.